Retirement In A Can

30 Nov

I’ve noticed a disturbing trend with my aging parents, the increasing presence of canned food in their house. It seems like every time I visit them their shelves have become more crowded with canned food. Not just one pantry shelf or even one pantry but its taken over what used to be the linen closet and bedroom. Open a bedroom closet and you are sure to find row upon row of canned beans or vegetables instead of shoes and coats.

A number of years ago they first introduced me to canned chicken, I had no idea. Apparently you can buy it in bulk at Costco. A year ago it was the canned beef, grass fed and from Argentina no less. Then, over Thanksgiving weekend I came across what my Dad assured me was the holy grail of canned food, behold:

And how much might a can of bacon cost you must surely be asking yourself?

It’s only 9 0unces and costs more than the best rib eye money can buy. No wonder my Dad was more than a little protective of it as he kept asking me what I did with his bacon and begged me not to open it.

I should be nervous for my parents and my own future retirement but alas, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. I happen to love canned fish.

I did have one last question for my folks before jetting off, “where can I get my hands on some canned bacon?”

Without batting an eye my Dad said, “oh, at the violin, paintball and food storage store.”

10 Responses to “Retirement In A Can”

  1. kim at 9:56 pm #

    that’s also where i get my fertilizer and ball bearings.

  2. KanyonKris at 11:36 pm #

    I think it’s more like Kryptonite in a can – who can resist bacon?

  3. Nick at 6:46 am #

    If you draw out for the Squaw Peak 50 lottery, hang up the bike its all over….Next it will be Rim to Rim to Rim then Speedgoat 50k (Highly recommended) Wasatch 100, Bear 100…..ADDICTIVE, SS is better for your knees

  4. Dave Harris at 8:42 am #

    “violin, paintball and food storage store”

    That is so Utah! Nowhere else on earth would you find such a store.

    • brkeyes7 at 8:52 am #

      Dave, and of course that high brow store is in St. George.

  5. tibiker at 9:13 am #

    Small world. I was just down in St George for Thanksgiving and noticed an amusing ad on my diet coke glass while eating at Don Pedros mexican restaraunt. You got it… an ad for the violin, paintball and food storage store. Whit and I laughed and thought the same thing as Dave, only in St. George, Utah.

  6. bob at 10:29 am #

    i am conflicted, somewhat aroused, somewhat horrified.

  7. Dave Harris at 5:14 pm #

    I will forever be an alien here in StG…

    • brkeyes7 at 7:52 pm #

      Wrong! Dave, YOU are living among the aliens.

  8. Slowerthensnot at 9:45 pm #

    Its a cool store….


    never saw the canned bacon though…

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